Saturday, February 27, 2021

The Ambiguity of Online Friends and Keeping Up with Old Friends

 Hello everyone! While this post isn't a short story or poem, it is a post that speaks about current social issues. The current state of friendships and creating new friendships is an interesting topic and I'm just speaking about my feelings about the state of relationships. Don't worry, I'll go back to writing short stories and poems in the next blog post. I'm just busy getting back to balancing school and writing. If you would like to support me become a patron on Patreon to receive patron-only material. Also, buy my poetry book "Living Day By Day: A Collection of Poems" paperback and leave a review. 

    In the age of digital relationships, the line between friends and acquaintances is blurry. It's easier to meet new people and find familiar interests; yet, there's also ambiguity for where you stand with your online acquaintances and friends. An out-of-context tweet, private message, or email can wreck relationships with online friends. It's common to lose interest in online communities I've joined and made friends in and decide to leave. On the other side, friends I've made in person are maintained online without concern for distance. 

           A lot of relationships, both professional and private, have an online element to them. It allows for reliable communication, but there's a distance. Emojis help in casual conversation, but the lack of hearing and seeing the person can make the sentence feel cold. It's that distance that allows for easy friend groups to form but not lasting friendships. I found it easy to exit out of groups when I'm no longer interested in the community. It didn't feel like I was losing friends because we were all a combination of different letters, numbers, and symbols. That's why it doesn't feel "real" when arguing with someone online. I know that there's a person on the other side; however, they're not before me. That's likely why people find it so easy to verbally abuse others online. We don't see the result of mental damage being done to the victim. It's hard to tell if the conversations I have meant anything while online. 

           With familiar usernames I've recognized, a bond can form temporarily, but, one day, either an online friend or I can suddenly be gone from the community. I know why I've left, but my online friends don't. After all, I've never bothered to announce my exit from the community. And the only people I've seen who do go out of their way to make a big show of them leaving were never well-liked. It's like being high school lunch friends. A light friendship that ends when you found new friends to hang out with, in your new community. These relationships feel shallow, but it's hard to create internet friendships with any depth because of social media culture.

           Social media is deceptive. We all like to put our best foot forward and make sure to present a desirable life. The focus is to put interesting things going on with our lives on social media. It's the only way to grow a following and get that dopamine spike seeing how many likes we got. I don't know how many times I've checked my social media accounts to catch up with the latest things going on with my friends. Seeing that they're keeping safe during this plague and finding ways to have fun is great. There're instances when I worry that they don't miss me as I do them. Social media allows for these brief moments of connection, but they're just moments. It's in these distant instances, where my in-person friends aren't that different from my online ones. The time where we aren't together is shared between us through social media, but it's slightly cold. I'm not experiencing these moments in-person, so at times, I question if my relationships are one-sided. I'll say that during those low moments, the pandemic is getting to me.

           With the plague running rampant, the only safe way to keep up with friends is through social media. While it's not ideal, it's for the best for everyone's safety. The greatest lesson on friendship I've learned is that I should value all my conversations while online. And to make an effort to curve any harmful behavior that social media cultivates. There's another person on the other side of the conversation and, no matter how much I disagree with them, there's no need to be cruel. It's stressful, and I'll be needing to make an effort to get out as much a possible when it's safe to do so. We're all suffering through a bad case of loneliness, but there's the hope of the plague ending soon. When it does, hopefully, there are new relationships made.