Saturday, October 20, 2018

Distant Tremors

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Earlier this year an earthquake happened.
It was either during the late night or sunless morning.
The shaking of the earth woke me from slumber.
Only my mother telling me everything was okay,
Had my panic-driven mind go silent.
                                                                                                        
After the event,
I felt that everything around me shaking.
My paranoid mind keeps feeling the earth vibrate.
Nothing happens time after time.
Panic still grips me tight as I wait for another earthquake.

Whether my mind is straining to sleep longer
Or wide awake during the day,
Tremors of an earthquake keep haunting my mind.
It wasn't long when I felt these tremors within myself.
The tremors match my grandpa's declining health.

In and out of the hospital,
Multiple organs failing,
Too tired to keep going on.
The earthquake is approaching faster than I'm ready.

Tremors nearly daily.
Unexpected crying and random sadness.
Hardly a day goes by without anxiety strangling my heart.
Only God knows what will happen to grandpa.
Too late to be the previous day too early to be the next day.

Grandpa has passed away.
Mama and grandma went to see him,
I didn't have the strength to say good-bye.
All of my grandpas are gone.
The fading tremors off in the distance have left me devastated.

In memory of Dennis Swain Aug. 21, 1953- Oct. 1, 2018